The Invisible Mother (an email forward)

The Invisible Mother
author unknown
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was Almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

December Asherisms

He's been babbling a lot more! His first definite word was ball, and he's added bird to that (though ball sounds like bah and bird sounds like buh). There is a mobile over the couch that has a boat on it, and he points to it and says bo, but we aren't sure if he means the boat or if he's calling the mobile a boat.

He's started saying 'ta' (Australian slang for 'Thank You') and handing people things. That's because whenever we hand him something, we say 'ta (thank you),' so he will say 'ta' when he is handed something. But being the clever boy that he is, he sees us handing him something and saying 'ta' so he hands us things and days 'ta.'

After a particularly amusing trip to the shops where Asher was smiling at all the ladies, we were all sitting around having lunch at the table. Asher was sitting in his high chair, babbling, and I asked him if he was a flirt. And he said, very clearly, "Yes!"

This morning, I had Asher in bed with me to try to squeeze a bit more sleep in (he's been waking up at 5:30 again). But Asher didn't want to be asleep, so was babbling and lifted up my shirt and started tickling my tummy. I said"tickly" and he liked the sound of that so he kept trying to say it "ti... tik.. uh... uh..." while still tickling my tummy. So we got up.

I was feeding him (inside) and some birds flew over the house and tweeted loudly, and Asher pointed excitedly at the ceiling and said "buh, buh!"

Merry Christmas

Asher Goes Swimming

We decided to enroll Asher in swimming lessons. It is important to us that he feels comfortable in the water, since we are in and around it all the time. The first lesson was in November- the beginning of summer here- and it was still a bit chilly. He cried throughout (it turned out he had an ear infection, too).

After a quick trip to Perth, the weather was warmer, and Asher really enjoyed the lessons. Soon he was able to hold his breath underwater and babbled throughout the class.

The classes were half an hour long, and involved moms or dads doing various activities in the water with the babies- singing, splashing, blowing bubbles, going underwater, etc. Dave took Asher once, as I was sick, and they both had fun.

Here are some photos from our last lesson:


Asher chasing a duck (reaching and kicking)
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Singing "Humpty Dumpty", and then going under
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Asher enjoying being the center of attention- he is supposed to crawl to the other end (where my hands are) and then I help him go under. But he wanted to stand, and clap.

Going through the hoop.

Have a lovely day!

Some random photos

Sorry I haven't posted many photos recently! We are discovering that between Skype and uuploading photos our internet usage has increased dramatically (and out here in the middle of nowhere mobile internet is expensive). So until I can get coordinated enough to run to the farm and upload some it will just be a few at a time, small and low-resolution.

Asher woke up from his nap in time to see a daddy emu and three babies wander through our backyard. He loves birds, dogs, and cats- but he wasn't too sure about the emus.

Would you believe this was taken at 7am? We have a roll-down shade for the porch which helps, but soon it will be too hot, even at 7am! Look at all those teeth- 8 now- the last three in two weeks!

Asher's doing a bit better with solids- he will eat some for me and lots for Dave. He shows more interest in foods and samples things off of our plates. His favorite thing at the moment is probably wheatbix plopped on his high chair tray, which he can pick up and (attempt to) put in his mouth. Most of it ends up falling back on the tray before it reaches his mouth.

A new discovery is that he easily drinks through a straw cup. So he can use a cup, a sippy cup, and a straw sippy cup... not sure if all are necessary or in the right progression. But since the start of swimming lessons he blows bubbles in everything- including his cup- so the sippy cup and the cup with a straw are useful.

Have a lovely day!

Bec's Gingerbread House Recipe

Bec's Gingerbread House Recipe

90 grams butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup honey
1 tsp grated lemon rind
2 eggs beaten
5 cups plain flour
1 cup self-raising flour
1 tsp bicarb soda (baking soda)
2 tsp ginger
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp mixed spice
1/2 tsp cardamom
1/2 tsp nutmeg

Icing
2 egg whites
4 cups pure icing sugar
1/2 tsp lemon juice

1. Place butter, brown sugar and honey in microwave proof bowl, cook on medium heat until sugar is dissolved Check and stir each minute or so. Cool mixture about 10 minutes.

2. Place all other ingredients in a large bowl, add melted mixture and mix well until combined. (Knead a little on floured surface to combine thoroughly).

3. Refrigerate at least 1 hour. (You can roll out the dough first and then chill the rolled out dough).

4. Roll out to 1/2 cm thick on floured surface. Use templates to cut to shape and place on greased oven tray. Bake at 180 C for 10 minutes or until light brown in colour. (Can be frozen after baking).

5. Trim the bottom of the ends and sides where they stand on the board.

6. Makes 5 small houses, 2 medium or 1 large.

Tips
It makes a lot of mixture, you can knead it in two lots!

You can use golden syrup or 1/2 golden syrup and 1/2 honey to make a darker, more spicy gingerbread.

Generousitree- my TEAR tree for the Festival of Trees

Family Photos

Contemplating the taste of sand

High Tea!

High Tea- all the ladies

My hat- a teacup

My somewhat oddly shaped dress. It is hard to match a dress to a pink, white, red and black glittery teacup hat festooned with ribbons, rosettes, pearls, lace, diamantes, and bows. I think this is only the second time in my life I have worn this much bling- the first being my wedding!

Speaking of weddings, this is my wedding hair. To clarify, this is the hairpiece I wore to my wedding because we had a morning wedding and hairpieces are so much easier!

And these are the teapot cookies my friend Cheryl and I decorated.

Baby Led Weaning

What do you feed a baby that refuses to eat from a spoon??

This has been our problem since starting solids. Asher has had strep throat, tonsillitis, and an unknown throat infection- during all of which we've had to force feed him antibiotics. We tried everything- a supply line during feeding, on a spoon, mixed with water, in a medicine pacifier, in a dropper, from a syringe. It was never easy and usually ended up with us holding him down, holding his jaw open, and trying not to make him gag. Consequently, he refuses anything we try to give him on a spoon, mostly. On the very odd occasion he'll open his mouth.


That is when we discovered baby led weaning. It skips pureed foods and goes straight to 'table foods'- finger foods, thick purees that he can scoop up, etc.

He likes experimenting and playing with his food. It is a mess. He's a mess. Our floor is a mess.

We even tried a suction cup bowl- that was amusing. It didn't take him long to unsuction it and dump it!

He likes his apple wedges, and pear, carrot, cucumber- anything in a stick form. He's had sandwiches, toast, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, french fries (baked, no salt). He's moving into eating what we are eating... within reason.

Now he shares his food with me, too. He'll take a bite, hand it to me, I'll take a bite (or pretend to), and hand it back to him. Sometimes he'll just pick up his food, bit by bit, and drop it on the floor. Sometimes he'll try to use a spoon himself (though he can't get food on the spoon yet, but he has tried).

For breakfast he may have oatmeal/porridge, cereal (Weet-bix), or baby cereal mixed with fruit puree. But I make it thick enough for him to scoop up with his fingers and eat.

Lunch and dinner usually involve a sandwich, toast, bread, and a rice or corn cracker with various spreads, or portions of whatever we are having.

Asher does keep life interesting!

28 October Photos

Asher at the beach in Coral Bay, Western Australia. He didn't mind that it was a bit chilly! We have ordered a long-sleeved long-legged rashie so we don't have to put so much suncream on him. It would cover him from wrist to ankle, and up to the neck! Once we add the hat he'll be one sunsafe baby!

This was at Izzy's first birthday party. Izzy is the oldest baby in our mother's group- the first to have a birthday. Asher was in his over-tired hyper-excited loud stage of the evening.

7, 8, and 9 months

Last of the Watermelons

The last watermelon- nearly 6 kilos (13 lbs).


Asher enjoyed it. His newest discovery is the idea that things bounce. Watermelon doesn't bounce, but he did try it a few times.

Beach Baby

Dave went spearfishing with some people from church at Pebble Beach yesterday. Asher and I went for a bit and just hung out in the shade. I saw a few dolphins- but didn't manage to get any photos.



Asher liked playing with his water bottle lid. I didn't manage to carry him and his toys from the car... I have to get more organized!



That little black dot on the water is the dinghy they were spearfishing from.
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And Asher is learning a new trick. He wants to pull himself up on our hands all the time now! Up, down, up, down. And he wants to let go of our hands but he hasn't worked out how to stay upright!

Watermelon, Watermelon

I posted a while back about our garden and the watermelons we were growing. We harvested our first one last week! It was so juicy it burst open when we cut into it.




This watermelon was 4.0 kilos, or 8.8 pounds...



It was so juicy and yummy and sweet! Good job Dave!

Just Asher, being cute

James and Asher...

We have lots of photos...
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of Asher and James...
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doing similar things at similar times...
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and enjoying the same books! Raaaah!

(None of these photos were posed... except for the last ones)