The Invisible Mother (an email forward)

The Invisible Mother
author unknown
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was Almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

December Asherisms

He's been babbling a lot more! His first definite word was ball, and he's added bird to that (though ball sounds like bah and bird sounds like buh). There is a mobile over the couch that has a boat on it, and he points to it and says bo, but we aren't sure if he means the boat or if he's calling the mobile a boat.

He's started saying 'ta' (Australian slang for 'Thank You') and handing people things. That's because whenever we hand him something, we say 'ta (thank you),' so he will say 'ta' when he is handed something. But being the clever boy that he is, he sees us handing him something and saying 'ta' so he hands us things and days 'ta.'

After a particularly amusing trip to the shops where Asher was smiling at all the ladies, we were all sitting around having lunch at the table. Asher was sitting in his high chair, babbling, and I asked him if he was a flirt. And he said, very clearly, "Yes!"

This morning, I had Asher in bed with me to try to squeeze a bit more sleep in (he's been waking up at 5:30 again). But Asher didn't want to be asleep, so was babbling and lifted up my shirt and started tickling my tummy. I said"tickly" and he liked the sound of that so he kept trying to say it "ti... tik.. uh... uh..." while still tickling my tummy. So we got up.

I was feeding him (inside) and some birds flew over the house and tweeted loudly, and Asher pointed excitedly at the ceiling and said "buh, buh!"

Merry Christmas

Asher Goes Swimming

We decided to enroll Asher in swimming lessons. It is important to us that he feels comfortable in the water, since we are in and around it all the time. The first lesson was in November- the beginning of summer here- and it was still a bit chilly. He cried throughout (it turned out he had an ear infection, too).

After a quick trip to Perth, the weather was warmer, and Asher really enjoyed the lessons. Soon he was able to hold his breath underwater and babbled throughout the class.

The classes were half an hour long, and involved moms or dads doing various activities in the water with the babies- singing, splashing, blowing bubbles, going underwater, etc. Dave took Asher once, as I was sick, and they both had fun.

Here are some photos from our last lesson:


Asher chasing a duck (reaching and kicking)
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Singing "Humpty Dumpty", and then going under
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Asher enjoying being the center of attention- he is supposed to crawl to the other end (where my hands are) and then I help him go under. But he wanted to stand, and clap.

Going through the hoop.

Have a lovely day!

Some random photos

Sorry I haven't posted many photos recently! We are discovering that between Skype and uuploading photos our internet usage has increased dramatically (and out here in the middle of nowhere mobile internet is expensive). So until I can get coordinated enough to run to the farm and upload some it will just be a few at a time, small and low-resolution.

Asher woke up from his nap in time to see a daddy emu and three babies wander through our backyard. He loves birds, dogs, and cats- but he wasn't too sure about the emus.

Would you believe this was taken at 7am? We have a roll-down shade for the porch which helps, but soon it will be too hot, even at 7am! Look at all those teeth- 8 now- the last three in two weeks!

Asher's doing a bit better with solids- he will eat some for me and lots for Dave. He shows more interest in foods and samples things off of our plates. His favorite thing at the moment is probably wheatbix plopped on his high chair tray, which he can pick up and (attempt to) put in his mouth. Most of it ends up falling back on the tray before it reaches his mouth.

A new discovery is that he easily drinks through a straw cup. So he can use a cup, a sippy cup, and a straw sippy cup... not sure if all are necessary or in the right progression. But since the start of swimming lessons he blows bubbles in everything- including his cup- so the sippy cup and the cup with a straw are useful.

Have a lovely day!